Common fears

01The visit

Questions after dark

He begins politely: “Rabbi, we know that thou art come a teacher from God.”⁴ Jesus answers with something baffling, about being born again, and Nicodemus pushes back: “How can a man be born when he is old?”⁵

Notice what Jesus does not do. He does not send him away for coming at night. He does not demand a decision. He just keeps talking with him.

If you are reading this quietly, perhaps without telling anyone, you are in good company. Here are the fears people bring most often, and what the Church actually says.

The first fear is the most common. If I start asking questions, will someone push me?

02Fear one

“Will I be pressured?”

The Church’s answer is firm: “nobody is to be forced to embrace the faith against his will.” The act of faith is of its very nature free.¹

Jesus himself invited people to faith and conversion, “but never coerced them.”¹ And nobody may be forced to act against his convictions in religious matters.⁶

The second fear runs deeper. Will believing mean switching my brain off?

03Fear two

“Will I have to stop thinking?”

No. Believing is a gift of grace, and it is also “an authentically human act,” contrary neither to human freedom nor to reason.²

There can never be any real conflict between faith and reason.⁷ The Catechism admits that some truths of faith can seem obscure, and then quotes St John Henry Newman: “Ten thousand difficulties do not make one doubt.”⁸

The third fear is quieter, and more personal. What if my faith is just too small?

04Fear three

“What if my faith is too small?”

A desperate father once brought his sick son to Jesus.⁹ When Jesus spoke of faith, the father cried out with tears that he believed, and begged: “Help my unbelief.”¹⁰

Half faith, half doubt, said out loud. Jesus did not turn him away.

The faith needed to begin “is not a perfect and mature faith, but a beginning that is called to develop.”¹¹ The Catechism is honest that faith is often lived in darkness and can be put to the test.¹²

And the last fear, maybe the loneliest. Will I have to do this on my own?

05Fear four

“Will I be alone?”

“No one can believe alone, just as no one can live alone.” The Catechism calls each believer a link in a great chain of believers.¹³

Some fears are practical: what family will think, what friends will say, whether you will fit in at a parish. You can take your time. You can bring any of them to a priest or a Catholic friend.

So what happened to the man who came by night? John tells us. Twice.

06The ending

The man who came by night

Later, when the leaders want Jesus condemned without a hearing, Nicodemus speaks up: “Doth our law judge any man, unless it first hear him?”¹⁴

And after the crucifixion, Nicodemus comes again, carrying a mixture of myrrh and aloes, “about an hundred pound weight,” to bury him.¹⁵

He started in the dark, with questions. He ended with his arms full of spices for the man he had questioned. Nobody rushed him.